Traditions and Preparations for a Jewish Wedding

Customary rituals and practices of Jewish weddings are almost no different from their Christian counterparts including those of other religions and culture. Although variations may exist and are conspicuous, they are basically similar in intent.

Just like any other religion and culture, there are traditions and customs that must be adhered to before a Jewish wedding. Some of these customs are based on the cultural heritage of the Jews but are still observed today regardless if some of them are thousands of years old albeit with minor modifications.

The following are some common customs before a Jewish Wedding:

The Engagement (Tena’im)

In Jewish law and custom, engagement carries a radically different meaning than the intention to marry because a Jewish engagement contract (Tena’im) also involves the undertaking of substantial legal and social consequences. The engagement ritual is officiated at the groom’s table where he signs the engagement contract (in Aramaic) which is afterwards given to a prominent Rabbi or close friend to read publicly. After the public reading, the mothers of both bride and groom perform the ritual of breaking a china plate as a symbol announcing to one and all that the engagement agreement is completed to the satisfaction of all parties concerned.

The Te’naim is a legally binding agreement between the bride and groom’s parents that contains the pertinent information like the date and financial arrangements of the wedding. The practice of entering into such an agreement goes as far back as the 300 C.E. in order to do away with unsystematic wedding preparations and avoid misinterpretations that may lead to disagreements and awkward relationships not only between the couple but also between their families. The practice is mainly observed by the Orthodox Jewish community.

Aside from the Tena’im, other rituals and customs of a Jewish marriage are the giving of the ring (Eirusin) which signifies that the future bride cannot marry someone else even if they are not yet legally husband and wife; the bride’s acceptance of the ring (Qiddushin) and finally, sharing a home and consummating the marriage (Nissuin). The maximum allowable period for this is one year to prevent men from performing eirusin without committing to nisuin. When the allowable period has lapsed, Jewish courts can compel the man to support his bride. In the 12th century, the custom has evolved into the performance of eirusin in the morning followed by wedding celebrations with nisuin subsequently being performed before sunset. Modern day Jewish wedding rituals and customs are now done all in the span of one day due to business and work commitments and the changing times.

In choosing wedding dates, it is customary for the couple to meet with a rabbi who advises and counsels them on how to properly choose the date and place for their wedding.

It is part of the Jewish custom not to hold weddings on the day of Shabbat, religious feasts or the High Holy Days to keep the celebration of the holy days and religious feasts separate and distinct from the celebration of wedding with the exception of Chanukah and Purim.

Another exclusion on the choice of wedding dates are days of public mourning like Tisha B’Av, the fast of Gedaliah, the tenth of Tevet, the fast of Esther, the seventeenth of Tammuz, the period between Pesach and Shavuot, and the three weeks from the seventeenth of Tammuz until Tisha B’Av. Again, there is an exception and that is the thirty-third day in the Counting of the Omer, Lag B’Omer, and a very popular wedding date among Jews. Another popular day for Jewish weddings is Tuesday because in Genesis, Chapter 1, we read it is good (ki tov) twice on the third day, which refers to Tuesday.

On the Shabbat morning before the wedding, it is customary for the groom to be called upon to read the Torah on the as a form of public announcement to the community of their forthcoming marriage and to give everybody the opportunity to wish them mazel tov. This is the same as asking the community in general to come forward and provide information about possible impediments to the marriage. In Sephardic communities, after the groom has finished reading the final blessings, candy and raisins are thrown to wish the groom a sweet life.

Another Jewish tradition is a fasting day, a private Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) for sins. Fasting also puts emphasis on the serious nature of the commitment of marriage between husband and wife and also as an indication that the newlywed will begin their married life with a clean slate.

It is customary for the bride to perform the ritual of purification (mikveh) prior to the wedding. For their attire, both bride and groom are required to wear while colored clothes as a symbol of their pure intentions for one another.

Source: http://www.devorah.us

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