Customary Practices during a Jewish Wedding

Customary practices of a Jewish wedding are a combination of religious and social traditions rooted in the culture of the Jews for thousands of years. Although there may be variations in today’s performance of Jewish weddings, they have not deviated radically but have exerted great effort to maintain the symbolic depiction of the rituals.

There are common and established practices that make up the actual Jewish Wedding. These practices and customs date back thousands of years and have become an integral part of any Jewish wedding regardless of geographic location.

The Signing of the Marriage Contract (Ketubah)

After the preparation of the marriage contract, the groom is symbolically asked if he is ready and able to comply with his obligations as stated in the ketubah. The time-honored method of demonstrating agreement is to take hold of a handkerchief or another object given by the rabbi in the presence of witnesses.

The marriage contract is a work of art which can either be printed or written Aramaic in calligraphic style and illuminated. It makes official the groom’s vow to protect and care for his bride and bears signatures of official witnesses, who are either close friends or respected scholars.

Veiling the Bride (Bade ken)

After the marriage contract is signed and duly presented, the fathers of both bride and groom will escort the groom to where the bride is so that the groom can lift the veil covering his bride’s face. The ritual is a symbolic gesture to make sure that she is indeed the woman he intends to marry whereupon he replaces her veil and recites the blessing “Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousand” (Genesis 24:60) – the very same words uttered by Rebecca’s mother and brother to her as she left their home to marry Isaac. The ceremony is justified by referring to the story of Jacob, whose father-in-law replaced Rachel (the woman he wants to marry) with Leah.

The replacement of the veil also has a symbolic meaning – that of the groom’s duty of clothing his wife.

Afterwards, the couple is then blessed by their fathers and the groom and his friends will leave the area singing and dancing to get ready for the marriage ceremony.

The Wedding Ceremony (Chuppah)

The wedding ceremony is a combination of symbolic and figurative representations, social traditions and compulsory religious actions.

The most prominent symbol of a Jewish wedding ceremony is the chuppah, the marriage canopy supported by four poles. The tradition of using a chuppah began in the Middle Ages when rabbis decided to separate the outdoors wedding ceremony from the surrounding areas. It also represents the home the husband and wife will build and the Divine Presence under which they will be married. One long-standing practice is for honored friends to hold the chuppah poles during the ceremony. Some families build their own family chuppah and to pass it down to succeeding generations instead of a wedding dress.

The parents escort and light the way of the bride and groom with candles when walking towards the chuppah; the fathers escort the groom while the mothers escort the bride (today however, it is the groom’s parents who escort the groom and the bride’s parents who escort the bride); it is always the groom who arrives first at the chuppah. Additionally, the bride is also escorted to the chuppah by bridesmaids (shoshvinim). Under the chuppah, the groom is obligated to wear a kittel, a white robe worn to observe the celebration of the High Holidays. The bride and groom are may not wear any jewelry under the chuppah except for the wedding ring the groom must give to his bride.

Custom dictates that the wedding ring must be worth at least a dime (perutah), and must belong to the groom, free and clear from all liens and liabilities. It is also required that the ring must be made of metal, with no holes going through it and must not have any gemstones lest the wife might misjudge its worth which may nullify her acceptance of it. However, after the wedding ceremony, the bride can wear a different ring if her husband desires.

When the bride reaches the chuppah, tradition dictates that she must circle around the groom either three or seven times as a symbolic proclamation that her husband is now the center of her life and as an avowal of her protective care towards him. After the wife has performed the ritual, the mothers of the bride and groom perform the same ritual as an affirmation that both families are an integral part of the new family. However, some Jewish communities have either eliminated this practice or made it equal by requiring both the bride and groom to perform the ritual.

The last part of the wedding ceremony is the recitation of the nine blessings under the chuppah.

The initial two blessings – the first blessing is for the wine and the second one is to solemnify the betrothal (Birchat Erusin) – correspond to first part of the wedding ceremony.

Afterwards, two witnesses are summoned to inspect the wedding band to ensure it meets standards of Jewish law after which only can the groom place the ring on the bride’s index finger and officially speak out that she is now his lawful wife.

The next part of the ceremony is the reading of the ketubah, either by a prominent rabbi or a scholar before the groom hands it to his bride.

At this juncture, the seven blessings are then recited; at the end of which, the groom breaks a glass as a symbolic remembrance of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.

The ceremony is now over and with great merriment, singing and dancing, the couple is escorted from the room by friends and family.

Source: http://www.devorah.us

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